Ashes
by MyNameisEzra
Summary: Ye Xiu doesn't even like the taste of cigarettes but after losing his friend he can't help but cling onto the only thing that makes him feel close to Mu Qiu.


They try to use the little money they have for everything. It is not enough for normal people but they are far from normal. Two orphans and a runaway... They eat whatever they can and sometimes take turns to feed SMC their share when there is enough food for only 2.

The situation gets better as they get better at playing GLORY. They keep finding new ways to play the game. They make guides, find new playstyles. They aim for the top. For different reasons. YX does it because he is interested in the game. Mu Qiu is interested too but he cares more about the money the game can bring. He cares more about giving Mucheng. Days pass by. They keep getting better. But there are days they can't get what they need. There are days Mu Qiu is about to give up. He only keeps going for the sake of little sister he admires so much and the friend who has always been next to him.  
But he is a human after all-not even an adult- and he has so much responsibility. Sometimes he feels like he can't deal with everything.  
He doesn't even know how. He doesn't even like the taste. But the one who offered it to him for the first time says it makes you feel better. And he needs to feel better so he keeps breathing the ash. It feels like an escape. Whenever he feels too much, he takes out a cigarette, light it and goes outside. It is like an excuse to get away from all the problems.  
Days pass by. One day Ye Xiu disappears for a day. He doesn't know where he went. He has no way to call him because Ye Xiu doesn't have a phone. He keeps lighting cigarette after cigarette. The sky keeps getting darker. He sends Mucheng to bad but keeps waiting himself. He doesn't realize how long it has been but he can barely see the silhouette of his best friend when Ye Xiu came back. He simply shifts on the windowsill he is sitting to make room for him. Ye Xiu sits silently. He doesn't ask what happened. He knows he won't get an answer even if he asks. So he simply takes the package out of his packet and gives it to Ye Xiu. It is Ye Xiu's first time so he coughs after his first breath. He is not unfamiliar with the smell of it. The air they breathe everyday practically reeks of it. But this is his first time smoking it directly. He doesn't want to dump the thing Mu Qiu is so fond of. He waits a bit and tries again.  
They don't realize they have been sitting on that windowsill for hours. They become aware when the first rays of the sun greets them. They stop staring into the void and share a glance. Mu Qiu is the first one to leave. By then he is sure that whatever happened to Ye Xiu is bad but it is not something he can't take. So he simply gives him a chance to have some time alone.  
Mu Qiu keeps smoking but Ye Xiu doesn't exactly like the feeling of it. The first time he smokes he doesn't even finish the cigarette and give the rest to Mu Qiu.

The news came destroying all of his dreams. Their dreams. He doesn't know what to do. He misses his friend. He is quite a mess after everything. It is later when he finds Su Mucheng crying in a corner he remembers a fading memory. A memory that started with a joke but ended with Mu Qiu telling him to take care of his little sister if he is not around. So he decides to do everything his friend can't anymore. He does his best to make Mucheng's life better. And he promises to be the champion to cherish his friends dream.  
He is the best in the alliance. He stands at the very top of glory. But for the first time in his life he doesn't feel excited. He can't help but think how Mu Qiu would feel. He stands at the very top but he is alone.  
One night he feels overwhelmed by everything. It has been a month since the accident. And whenever he sees that day on calendar he feels too much. He leaves the Excellent Era building. Even he himself doesn't know where he is going. He ends up in a small internet cafe in a not crowded alley. The place is the kind that would give one a feeling of fear but to Ye Xiu it is not much different from the place he grew up with Mu Qiu. He feels the nostalgia when he steps inside. He silently requests a computer and sits down. His expression must be quite sad because after seeing it the guy sitting next to him slips his hand into his pocket and takes out a small package. Ye Xiu first opens his mouth to reject but upon seeing the exact same brand he shared that day with Mu Qiu he can't find the strength to do so. He silently takes it and the man lights it in seconds. After breathing it he almost starts crying. He feels like Mu Qiu is right next to him, breathing into him. He barely manages to log out from his account. He hastily pays for the computer usage and leaves the cafe.

He doesn't even like the taste but after that day he keeps smoking. Even after becoming champion and having enough money to buy the whole cigarettes in the market he keeps buying those cheap brand. He always gently rejects other kind of cigarettes. Others look down on him, keep making rude comments. He doesn't answer. He doesn't care. As long as he keeps breathing cigarettes he can feel Mu Qiu's presence. Others keep making fun of him for pulling all nighters to 'do nothing but sit on a windowsill'. Only Mucheng knows the real meaning of that action. Sometimes she falls asleep and wakes up expecting to see his brother as the person she uses as a pillow after getting the everpresent smell of cigarettes. If she closes her eyes she can escape from the harsh cold truth and cling to his brother in Ye Xiu.


End file.
